Tears Speak For Me

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Today, I finally cried. After years of seeing black men murdered I finally cried.
Why?
Today, I felt justified. I felt like I had permission to feel what I have been experiencing.
My classmates gave me the permission to sit in the emotions of
Fear
Uncertainty
Discomfort
Weariness
Concern.
I realized today I never stopped to ask my brothers, my dad, cousins or my nephew how they were doing. I have been afraid. I have been afraid to hear them tell me their pain, fear, and  rage. I have been afraid the truth of their reality would only confirm how powerless I am, how powerless we are regarding how people view us.

I cried because I really had no words to express what my soul was experiencing. I felt for my classmates. Perhaps, many of us are sitting in the same seats of uncertainty and we are seeking together to understand.

I had two conversations with friends this week. One cried. Another told me they cried because they were so hurt. Although I understood what they were saying it was obvious neither of them were able to put into words exactly what they were experiencing. That, I could relate to.

I am settled in the notion I can’t express fully what I feel in words. I pray my tears will speak for me. I pray they express the tales of sleepless nights, anxiety, weariness, anger, frustration, disappointment, rage, weakness that are common yet complex.
It’s is my hope that my classmates and anyone else reading this will come to a place of truth within themselves that brings greater awareness and concern for self and others.

August let the Song Cry for him. Maybe we can try the same.
Take a listen Song Cry


Tiffany Martin


Comments

  1. VanessaMay 31, 2020 at 7:53 PM

    Tiffany, my heart aches as I read this, and tears come to my eyes. I saw your tweet yesterday, but just now these two posts (the tweet has greater context now, although I was pretty sure I knew what you were asking yesterday). Thank you for sharing your feelings, your truth. I see you and value you. And your brothers, dad, cousins, and nephew. I see you and your pain, and care about your well being. And I apologize for any clumsiness in expression here. It's difficult to know what to say, and words hardly feel sufficient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Earth Care and RestorationJune 4, 2020 at 3:58 PM

      Thank you professor. I am so grateful for this platform and the opportunity to share. Thank you for reading and responding.

      Delete
  2. BDeviesMay 31, 2020 at 8:41 PM

    Tiffany, thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this piece. It is beautifully said. Even though sometimes online communities can feel distant, know that I am here for you, this class is here for you, and Dr. Dennen (as seen above) is here for you. There are no words that can make this better but I will continue to find ways to use my privilege in ways to advocate until police brutality and systemic racism no longer exist. Thank you Tiffany.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Earth Care and RestorationJune 4, 2020 at 4:00 PM

      Thank You for reading. I never take for granted your willingness to read and comment. I thank you in advance for using your voice to bring awareness. It matters to me,

      Delete

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