What Does your Silence Mean ?
So, as an African American female employed at a PWA (predominately white agency) there is a loud silence that I simply cannot ignore. Daily I wonder,
“Do you see me?“
“Is the pain I experience noticeable to you in any way?”
“Is there any concern that maybe I am in emotional distress?”
Then there is this Private rehearsal,
“So if they ask, what am I going to say?
How do I say it?
What do I want them to do differently ?
Am I being objective? “
Each day I have meetings online with colleagues that can see my face and I wonder are they aware or on any level Or conscious that possibly I am hurting. The silence is so confusing.
Is it that your are uncomfortable?
Are you unaware?
I want you to know that I am hurting.
I am sad that I have to consider where I am going, before I go, and what I am wearing.
I am concerned about the black men in my life that are fearful of their own lives.
I was concerned about going to the office to print reports that I need to read because I wondered if maybe someone would think because I was black, I should not be at the office and would call the police on me.
Please, Ask me how I am doing.
If you don’t I am, left to wonder “what does your silence mean?
Tiffany Martin
Tiffany, I want to start by thanking you for starting this conversation. As a white woman, I do not think I can fully begin to understand the pain you experience in justifying your own humanity -- even in a simple task like going to your office.
ReplyDeleteI see you. I see your pain.
I've engaged in countless conversations on the plight of women and LGBTQ+ rights, but I have admittedly not talked at length nearly enough about racial equality. That is on me. I've started these conversations within my circles. I'm taking my time to correct those that I don't feel adequately understand the gravity of the situation. I am trying to educate myself in being a better ally before actively engaging online to the extent I want to.
This isn't about me though. This is about you and your hurt.
That leaves one more thing. Tiffany, how are you doing?
Hi Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I see you! I'm sorry you have all these thoughts and feelings and unable to express them openly before. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your post. I have seen and read many posts over the last couple of days which have brought an overwhelming sadness to where our country and society is heading.
From someone who hides a lot of her own personal pain, I feel you and you are not alone.
Hi Tiffany. Like you, as a Black woman, I had a very rough week. I had to take a break from social media because it was all too much and too overwhelming. I just want you to know that I'm here if you want to decompress. I am taking stalk of those who are silent right now on my feeds. I appreciate you bringing this conversation to light on your blog, because all too often I wonder how silencing and sounding equity occurs in classrooms. I stand in solidarity with you.
ReplyDeleteHi Tiffany - I saw your tweet yesterday and wanted to respond. I saw you reaching out but I didn't want to say the wrong thing. That is an awful excuse and I'm sorry. But, today, I'm telling you (and thanks to your post) I've reached out to friends to tell them. I am not black, but I see you and I hear you. I don't know your experience, but I know I want things to change.
ReplyDelete