Facing the Facts

For the past 7 days I have spent some much needed time in prayer about me! I have been able to sit and reflect about my recent attitudes, beliefs, practices  and have been able to acknowledge and accept some realities about my personality. 

A few weeks ago while chatting with my sister she said “Tiffany you are so entitled.” My initial response was to laugh. Then after a moment her comment began to sting. “Sis, what made you say that?” She began, so gracefully, explaining to me how I feel people should do things for me. She pointed out a recent comment I made about believing there are certain things I should not have to pay for. I listened and laughed again. At this point, feeling very uncomfortable. 

I wondered, was it really wrong that I felt that way?  She kept talking... I continued to listen. Interjecting every so often with a question for clarity or a comment of justification. Much of the other things she shared I don’t remember. I do however recall her communicating pride is only harmful when  I allow it to be. 

This week I have been taking time to study the book of Nehemiah in the Holy Bible. Nehemiah at the start of the book was a cupbearer to a King who was later appointed Governor after his work with rebuilding the wall for a nation that had been oppressed. Studying his life and response to an oppressed nation helped solidify what my sister was telling me weeks ago. 

I am prideful and very entitled. These beliefs have resulted in me not being able to accurately see myself and how my behavior is not helpful within the communities I belong to. This time there was no laugher. Instead, there was a deep sadness (internally).  I intend to spend more time today studying, praying and reading about Nehemiah so my very nature will be transformed.